


Iced Americano

by minseookkiiee (minoosshii)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-20 00:22:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20218726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minoosshii/pseuds/minseookkiiee
Summary: I said no more over and over again but life has other plans.





	Iced Americano

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting a fic. I wrote this back in 2017 and happened to re-discover this today. I suddenly felt like continuing this. I'm not sure if anyone would want this but here it goes.

**CHAPTER 1: This how it starts**

No more. No more. No more. I kept on repeating that to myself as I walked through the crowds. The streets were busy and the rain was patting my body as I went farther from the place I wanted to escape. It poured harder and harder washing away the tears I failed to hold back. I can’t believe the only day I fail to check my weather app is the day I decide to ditch my umbrella. The world is conspiring against me. Every single time I think I’m alright or at least I’m going to be, the world starts to plot my downfall and hits me all at once. I gave up trying to find shelter or keeping myself dry from the rain. All I want to do was run away. With all the endurance I had left in me, I ran as if nothing else mattered. At least at that moment only running away did. I didn’t hate running and I never had a problem with it. I loved soccer and obviously it involved a lot of running. I was into being active and cardio was my thing but at that moment running made my head pound and my chest clench. I felt like my endurance was that of an asthmatic kid wheezing and gasping for air with every step pounding into the pavement. I didn’t know how I was able to keep going but i did. Maybe it was adrenaline. Maybe it was my eagerness to stay away.

It took me an hour of going around in circles before I ended up at my apartment on the other side of the city. The security at the lobby was eyeing me with concern. I gave him a slight nod and headed up to my place. Everything was in order. I always made sure my place was organized. I went through the door and started feeling out of place. I looked into the mirror and saw how much of a mess I looked. I left wet traces on the floor. My shoes were strewn across the floor leaving marks of mud and dirt. I l scanned my flat thinking about the irony of how it’s all perfect while I was crumbling into pieces. Some would say i should be thankful. That I was blessed. That others have it worse. What they don’t understand is we all have different ways of handling our pain. They never realize that it all hurts the same. As my back hit my couch, fatigue caught up with me. I closed my eyes as I drifted from the world once again running away from the things I needed to face.

“I’m in love.” my best friend blurted one week into our last semester in college. I was a sleep deprived medical student while he was the ever active law student. We met in highschool. Being seatmates with a common love for food and all. We sneaked snacks during classes and shared meals during breaks. We were attached to the hip since then. He knew way too much about me and it goes both ways. Despite taking on different paths, we opted to stay in the same university being flatmates for the first two years until my parents gifted me my own flat. Some would say we probably got sick of each other but we actually didn’t. He was my soulmate or so I thought.

Being the great friend that I am, I was very supportive of the relationship. I was friends with his new boyfriend. I haven’t seen him this serious and committed to a relationship in forever.I was genuinely happy. He was happy. They were happy. Of course the relationship wasn’t perfect. There were times when they’d argue and we’d end up playing video games while indulging in pizza and beers until the wee hours.The next day they would be fine and everybody would be ok. As their relationship progressed along with the semester, our relationship started to go downhill. I started to become busy with my requirements and it was the same for him. Our weekly game night stopped happening. He always had to make it up to his boyfriend. I understood him or at least I tried to. Towards the end of the semester, I started to become a mess. I was starting to become paranoid for internship, hoping and praying that I’d get accepted in the program of the hospital of my liking whilst trying to maintain my grades. It wasn’t actually that bad but there was just too much going on. The icing on top of the cake: my parents filed for a divorce. One night it became too much for me. My perfect perspective of life started to crumble right in front of my eyes. I was having a breakdown. With trembling hands,I reached for my phone and tapped on Jongdae’s name. He answered after three rings as usual but I never had the opportunity to talk. “Minseok, now’s not a good time. Junmyeon is having a hard time right now. I’m really sorry I’m in a hurry. He needs to meet his deadline for tomorrow. I’ll call you later. Bye!” There I waited for the call that never came.

I woke up to the blaring sound coming from my phone. The sun was glaring through the slightly opened curtain basking me in the morning heat. Ignoring my phone I got up to make myself a cup of coffee. I was basically useless and murderous without coffee in my system. I hopped into the shower while the espresso machine does its job. I recalled the events last night. How I ended up third wheeling on my friends’ date, how I overheard their argument about me regarding how I’m always there as I went back to return the headphones I borrowed early on, how I felt that it was the last straw as I ran away from my best friend, from his lover and from everything else where I used to find comfort and solace. I didn’t want to interrupt or anything.

I just needed comfort. Dae was always there when I needed him and I was always there for him too. I was accustomed to it. I stepped out of the shower and headed to the bedroom. On my bed, my rejection letters mocked me. I just found out yesterday that I didn’t get accepted as an intern at SKH. I sent applications to various hospitals. I got accepted in a couple others but not the one I worked hard for. Jongdae was always the one who pushed me to go for it. He supported me a lot when I was starting with med school. He cheered on me and helped me trust myself more considering how I want to enter a top notch hospital. I guess all that cheering was for naught. I got out of my trance as my phone rang again. I swear I’m going to throw that thing against the wall soon. I begrudgingly dragged myself out, grabbed my coffee and checked my phone. Baekhyun’s name flashed and I finally decided to answer after a few rings.

“Goodmorn-”

“ YAH! What’s so good about the morning? Don’t you know how to answer the phone? I’ve been calling you for hours now! Don’t you know how worried I was? Do you want to kill me Kim Minseok? Imagine me waking up in the middle of the night to Jongdae and Junmyeon calling me and looking for you? Yah say something!”

Baekhyun started to rant as I pried the phone away from my ears. When I heard him stop, I decided to respond.

“ Baek, I’m okay. I’m at home drinking coffee. You don’t have to be worried or anything.”

“ Yeah sure. Don’t worry my ass. With your disappearing act and all the calls and messages you ignored, sure you’re alright.” Kyungsoo, Baek’s roommate, countered in a calmer tone. “ You know what stay where you are and don’t you dare move. We’re coming over.” Before I can even respond, he dropped the call. I waited as I braced myself with what’s to come.

As I did my thoughts lingered and right there and then I decided that I won’t let this happen again. The vulnerability, the pain it must be buried where it can’t be excavated. I felt walls starting to build. As I crumbled, I needed to build walls to keep me from falling apart.

“YAH KIM MINSEOK I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE OPEN THIS DOOR NOW OR I’M KICKING IT!”

There stood an agitated Baekhyun on the brink of going ballistic on my doorstep with Kyungsoo in tow carrying tubs of ice cream and bags of chips. The thing I loved the most about these two is they know how to cheer me up. I met them on our second year in med school. They’ve been constants in my life since then. Albeit we haven’t reached the type of friendship I shared with Dae, I love them just the same.

“Wow, Soo. I never imagined the day you’ll allow us to eat chips and ice cream for breakfast. Who are you and what have you done to our Kyungsoo?” I blurted as we ate in silence. It was shocking that Baek was actually being silent.

“ You love him don’t you?” I guess I spoke too soon.

“ Here we go again with this question. I do love him as far as best friends can go. You know it’s never been like that. You know why I’m upset. It’s not about their relationship. It’s how we drifted you know. I’m seriously hoping this is the last time we talk about this.”

It’s true I’m not in love with him. I’ve thought about it. Pondered on it. It never made sense to me and I never saw him that way. It’s just that I can’t help but feel lost as I started losing him. All those years together and suddenly we’ve drifted. I know he needs to live his own life and people are bound to enter his life but I miss my best friend. Soon I’ll move on and accept it but this whole process is taking its toll on me with everything that’s happening in my life. Fortunately, Baek understood what I needed. We dropped the subject and spent the day pigging out and going through my boxed set of Grey’s Anatomy.


End file.
